There is something about sitting in coffee shops that just get to me! They get the best of me- and not in a bad way either. There is something about being in the environment of a place that smells like freshly brewed espresso and coffee, dimly lit lights, worship music playing throughout the whole place (yes people, I said worship music...IN A COFFEE SHOP!), hearing people talk and share about Christ and what He is doing in their lives. The sound of a hockey puck, being hit on every corner of the table as kids concentrate on where their next hit will take place. Talking to people who you never get a chance to actually talk to outside of Facebook, Twitter, and Kik. There is just something about it....
As I am sitting here, God is making me realize a little bit about His love for me. As I sit here, in thought, there is a positive, overwhelming amount of peace deep within my heart. It is wonderful because this peace, is making me want nothing more but Jesus.
Which makes me think of another thought...
I WANT NOTHING MORE BUT JESUS! Only Jesus.
Over this past year, so many of my friends have either gotten married or engaged, and as a matter of fact, I found out that one of my good friends got engaged, and well...here I am. Single. That one word that most women can't stand to say in a group of people and they get asked "Hello 'so and so'! Are you dating anyone?!" They respond back with their head tilted down "No. I'm SSSS...SSSIII....*whispers* single." Nobody wants to say that ONE word....SINGLE. Seeing all of my friends glow with that "pre-marriage" happiness and "puppy love" makes me want to be in a relationship even more. But here is the question that I keep asking myself "What makes me want to be married?" Is it due to the complete desire to be with that "special someone" based on God's will and His plan for me, if it's His plan, or am I just in love with the idea of the act of getting married? I mean after all, I have been waiting and planning my wedding ever since I was a little girl, so of course I WANT to be married. I want to be able to experience the feeling and the sight of seeing that man on one knee, pulling out a beautiful ring with probably some cheesy-romantic way to ask me for my hand in marriage...to the beautiful sight of seeing him at the end of the aisle, dressed in a tux, with his eyes shining with nerves and excitement to take me as his betrothed....but will that day ever happen?
I am twenty year olds and I hear "oh you got time!" every time I bring up the fact that I 'so desperately' want a handsome Romeo. The more I think about it and the more I think about my love for Christ compared to my love of the "desires" of my heart...by God's grace I am able to say that I am willing to be single the rest of my life because I have realized that there is no man, no human, who can love me with the complete and utmost, abounding, love that Christ has for me. This life is short, but the life in Heaven is for eternity. Nothing lasts forever...except for Christ's love for me and the love that I have for Him. As much as what I want to be in a relationship, engaged, married, or pregnant...I am okay with me being SINGLE.
I am worthy of love and affection. I am worthy because God loves me and sees me as a diamond-one of the most beautiful creations that He has made. I am worthy and I need nothing more but His love.
For I am His..and He is mine.
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