Homesick.

   There is not a day that goes by where I don't think about the life that God blessed me with back in Alaska. Now...I'm in Oregon, exactly two years after I moved in Alaska. I can't help but to sometimes "beat myself up" over the choices that I made that brought me here-2,900  miles away from the place my heart calls home; one of which was nothing but a long-lost fake romance story. *sigh*

     There is not a single phone call that I receive from friends back home where my heart doesn't long to be back in the cold, year-long, winter-wonderland state. The people that I live with (14 women to be exact) have told me that they kind of get annoyed with me talking about Alaska all the time. But hey? What else is there to say when Alaska was what made me...me? Alaska brought the best out of me. Through my experience there and the 579 days that God had me there, He showed me the best of who "Malarie" was. He showed me the meaning of friendship, love, independence, support, but most importantly, He taught me the importance of JOY. 

   The friends that I have back home are more than just friends who I hung out with-they were family. Some were younger than myself, others were older...but they were my family. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. The job that I had as a daycare teacher was more than wonderful. Yes, there were hard times, but at the end of the day, it was a blessing to be around little kids and to teach them 1-2-3's and A-B-C's. The pastel colors of the rainbow and the shape of a stop sign. It was a blessing to pour out love to them...eat animal crackers and string cheese like there was no tomorrow. That was JOY.

I miss the smell of the ocean air and the grains of sand beneath my feet. I miss the sunsets and the sunrises that God greeted me with every morning. I miss it all.

I miss everything about Alaska. I miss the mountain ranges, the tree-tops that I always complained about because they never changed colors in the fall. I miss the construction that was always happening in the middle of town. The busyness of trying to get through a Fred Meyer's grocery line. I miss it all. The Kaladi Brother's Coffee, and my sweet barista friends who let me stay past close. Turns out, I miss everything that at the time, I considered to be "the little things", when now, I would give anything to have them back again. *sigh*

 

   I know that God has me here in Eugene, Oregon, for a reason. Reasons that I am unaware of and not in control of. But I can't help but to wonder where I would be if only...if only I would have stayed. If only I would have listened to friends who told me to do just that. If only I wouldn't have believed the fake romance story. *sigh sigh*


Lord please! Help me get back home! 

                                                                           

My friend Amber and I-doin what we did best! ICE CREAM